Tuesday, 31 May 2011


Privileged to introduce The Ghost With The Most, Father, Husband, Survivor And Advocate In The Fight Against Abuse. Oh and not to forget, one of  the Heroes.

About Me

Odd One United States
I'm just your average guy next door with a wife and kids. On the surface, anyway. No, I'm not some mutated being with superpowers, but I do have a chance to make a difference in people's live

 Welcome To The Age Of Entitlement
It's been a while since I blogged, and even though I had every intention of writing sooner, it's good that I didn't.

Why? Because there comes a time in a survivor's journey when we realize it's time to let go. That can be especially hard for those of us who have been victimized severely and repeatedly. After having fear, sadness and anger pent up for so long, some of us begin to believe we are entitled to live life that way. I admit that I fell into this mode of thought...more like obsession. The idea that I was right to be pissed as hell and unleash my pain on the people who reminded me of my perpetrators took over, blinding me to the fact that I was becoming cold to the people I love and care for. This became clear to me recently when I spoke out publicly against my own coworkers, who had set off a bad reaction for me by using a plastic wrap doll for a prom decoration that represented a prostitute passed out on a toilet. The only thing that makes my anger boil over more than my own pain is that of women and girls. I can be very protective of females who are in danger, so the sight of this "joke" as it was called, brought out my rage over all the girls and women who fall victim to traffickers, pimps, johns and perverts in general. A story that was published by our local newspaper has polarized our community due to my flashback. And even after I received notice that I was being furloughed, it is still hard for me to let go of the idea that I was entitled to give my fury a voice.

 So, at what point does one distinguish between a sense of duty and selfish entitlement? The answer is right there in the question. Duty has little if nothing to do with the self. It is placing the best interest of others first.
Entitlement is selfishness on steroids. I could very well have handled that doll situation differently and created an opportunity for all to grow in understanding of the suffering of trafficking and prostitution victims.

Things happen for a reason, and lessons we learn can be painful, and not just for ourselves. I've been approached by quite a few people who admire my stand for what I feel is wrong and right. At the same time, my wife is concerned about how we as a family will be treated by the community at large in the future.

I can only pray that I have stirred a change of consciousness that might guide everyone forward with greater care for those of us whom society deems "cheap whores." Behind every sex worker or porn star is someone who made us feel like we had no other purpose than to provide pleasure for men or women who use, abuse and violate every fiber of our beings.

It is my duty to tell other survivors that we have been lied to all our lives. The truth shall set us free. 


Saturday, 28 May 2011

Mother4Justice Guest Blog: Here Come The Boys, Introducing Rick Belden

Mother4Justice Guest Blog: Here Come The Boys, Introducing Rick Belden: "Welcoming Rick Belden Rick Belden has been writing for most of his life and exploring the use of creative expression, dreamwork, perso..."

Here Come The Boys, Introducing Rick Belden

Welcoming Rick Belden



Rick Belden has been writing for most of his life and exploring the use of creative expression, dreamwork, personal mythology, and listening to the body as tools for self-healing since 1989. He is the author of Iron Man Family Outing: Poems about Transition into a More Conscious Manhood, a book widely used in the United States and internationally by therapists, counselors, and men's groups as an aid in the exploration of masculine psychology and men's issues, and as a resource for men who grew up in dysfunctional, abusive, or neglectful family systems.
Rick's second book, Scapegoat’s Cross: Poems about Finding and Reclaiming the Lost Man Within, is awaiting publication. He regularly posts poetry, short essays, and other writing at his blog, poetry, dreams, and the body.
In addition to his ongoing activities as a writer, Rick has been working in the information technology field for over 25 years as a software engineer/designer/developer, systems analyst, business analyst, and consultant for numerous organizations in both the public and private sector. He lives in Austin, Texas.

 Film review: “Boys and Men Healing”

“It’s not something that should be a secret.”
“I didn’t know that asking for help would make me powerful.”
“I can’t recall a bigger step in my own healing than when I broke my silence.”
Each of the above quotes is from one of the three men whose stories are featured in the new documentary Boys and Men Healing. Each man has his own history and his own path to healing. But these three men also have a lot in common. Each man was sexually abused as a child, and each has committed himself as an adult to facing his wounds, healing the damage, and putting his experience to work in service to helping others.

All of these men have found their own ways back to themselves after being profoundly injured and betrayed as children, and their stories are presented in an interwoven fashion, with quiet grace and complete respect throughout. A number of important themes are explored in the course of the film, including the search for justice, the healing power of advocacy and bearing witness for others, and the critical importance of timely, readily available support for men and boys who have been violated and are ready to seek help.

There were many deeply touching moments for me as I watched, far too many to list, but what stands out the most in my mind after viewing is the material featuring the peer support group for male survivors of childhood sexual abuse attended by one of the three men. I know from personal experience just how powerfully healing such a group can be. The tragedy is that there are still so few of these groups available for men. The need is great, and countless opportunities for lives to be saved, quite literally, are being lost.

Toward the end of the film, all of the men share their impressions of how their relationships with others (family, friends, intimate partners) have been affected by their childhood wounds and histories. All have experienced challenges and difficulties in this area of their lives; some have made
more progress than others. I was particularly affected by a comment from one man’s partner, who said, “You have to be willing to walk with them though some of those dark times.” I know this is true. I also know that it is very hard to find someone who understands it, and is willing and able to do it consistently. I’ve been on both sides of this equation; I’ve failed, and I’ve been failed. It’s not easy to be in either role.

As I watched Boys and Men Healing, I felt awed and humbled by the strength, courage, integrity, and dignity demonstrated by the men who spoke and shared their stories with the filmmaker in the service of healing themselves and others. So many men feel so terribly alone with these wounds. Men and boys who’ve been injured in this way need to know that they are not alone and that healing is possible. I hope this film moves us all one step closer to a world in which sexual violation of boys and men is no longer tolerated and those who’ve been violated have ready access to the resources they need for healing, and feel safe enough to seek those resources out.

As one of the participants in the male survivors group says near the end of the film, “Men will tell their stories. We just have to make the space for them to tell it.”

Amen, brother. Amen.

To view an extended preview clip for Boys and Men Healing, read more about the film, and purchase a copy go to: http://www.bigvoicepictures.com/

A blog by Rick Belden, author of Iron Man Family Outing: Poems about Transition into a More Conscious Manhood. Topics include men’s issues, masculine psychology, poetry, dreams, creativity, recovery from childhood abuse, and the search for psychospiritual wholeness.
Additional information is available at rickbelden.com.

Thursday, 26 May 2011

RMarie Quartermane

 RMarie Quartermane author of "Secrets Of A Five Year Old Prostituted" came up this idea for children, She has written a Limerick to teach and safeguard them against child abuse. There has never been a more dedicated advocate fighting to bring awareness. RMarie Quartermane is an example to us all. 


My Guest RMarie Quatermane



Limerick for Children a Must Learn


If it makes me happy
If it makes me feel glad not bad,    
Then I can hold it in a while,
As I give a giggle and a smile.                                     

If it causes fear
If it's meant to scare,
If someone will get hurt,
Then my secret I must blurt                                                   

By RMarie Quarermane        

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Mother4Justice Guest Blog: My Friend And People Supporter

Mother4Justice Guest Blog: My Friend And People Supporter: "Introducing Kathleen Freeman 3.a.m Angel of deliverance waits outside my bedroom window The world hushes its long drawn breath for ..."

My Friend And People Supporter

Introducing Kathleen Freeman


Angel of deliverance waits outside my bedroom window
The world hushes its long drawn breath for a while.
Somewhere far away tiny lizards dart beneath stones.
Thin streams hiccup gently to themselves.
An old owl shutters its amber eye sternly.
I am alone, as tight as bleached cotton
stretched across the glistening night sky.

At 3.a.m our time sir, I believe, is when
your specter returns, climbing over the strewn
broken packaging, that used to be my dreams.
Shadows finger themselves around floral wallpaper.
Monsters leap from polished wooden doors
hungry for the gnawed remains of my sleep.

Angel in beggar’s clothes slips away at dawn
to some washed continent I cannot even name.
Where blue-faced people hide themselves in forests.
Capturing the souls of children in dreamtime nets
Luring them far away to the steady beat of cricket
tails counting hypnotically in case they awake.

All poems copyright of Kathleen Freeman

 Visit Kath At http://kathylambie.blog.com/

Mother4Justice Guest Blog: Please meet Lizzie McGlynnthe Author of "I for...

Mother4Justice Guest Blog:

Please meet Lizzie McGlynn
the Author of "I for...
: "Please meet Lizzie McGlynn the Author of 'I forgive you Daddy' Liz has very kindly agreed to guest blog for me today. Liz is sharing rec..."

Please meet Lizzie McGlynn
the Author of "I forgive you Daddy"
Liz has very kindly agreed to guest
blog for me today. Liz is sharing recently
written "Raggy Doll."

Subject: Raggy doll

Abuse isn't a layer we can peel off whenever we want it's stuck with us for life. 
We have a life sentence its how we cope that makes the difference.
 I want to try and make the world understand how a day in a survivors shoes feels.
You go to sleep traumatised confused unable to relax.
sleep deprivation has to be one of our biggest hurdles, then theres our biggest enemy. Memory. 
We get what we term triggers it can be a smell a colour a vision almost anything, it can take us back to a moment in time where we become that vulnerable lost child again. 
We get up in the morning choices start, do we hide under the pillow to close out the world, or do we choose to get up and face the  day.

Facing the world itself is a daily battle as we have to put on the coping face... now that one tires you out as it takes a lot to keep up the facade "I'm coping", as we all have very 
difficult periods where we aren't coping, but we don't want others thinking ... here we go again so we withdraw. Why? so we don't burden others and become a nuisance..
Why do we bother, because we matter. we did not cause the 
damage someone came into our innocence and stole it, they cast us aside like broken dollies.
we have to try and find a way to fix ourselves... it's not easy. 
Is there such a thing as a normal life... are there people out there that care, are there people out there that want to give us change...